This week we took care of a lot of bureaucratic “stuff“. Demetrio set up our health insurance, his 401(k), life insurance, our gym memberships and a whole slew of other little annoyances. A marked difference from the way things work in Italy is this example. We ordered high-speed Internet connection and the next day the modem was hand delivered to our door. That evening Demetrio set it up and within minutes, we were good to go. Internet access is an essential part of Demetrio’s job until Microsoft does reimburse us for the cost. (MS Italy did not do this.)
Since moving back to Seattle, buying a Volvo station wagon and being a stay-at-home mom, I have been going through some sort of identity crisis. When I was living in Italy, I knew that I would not be working. I had no problem staying at home taking care of my husband and taking care of the household. Now that I am back in the United States, I have every opportunity to get a job I feel somewhat strange not having one. We are lucky enough that my husband is a great provider and I do not have to work. Staying home and raising Veronica is my new job. I’m happy with the opportunity to have her stay home with me instead of going to a day care but then why am I second-guessing myself?
I feel like a stereotype living here, the Microsoft wife with an infant and a lot of free time on her hands. I rented a garden plot and hope to work it and fill it with Italian vegetables. I want to work on joining a mommy and baby group so Veronica can socialize with babies her age. I want to spend more time with his sister another good friends. I want to volunteer my time to a good cause. (I used to do this a lot when I was in college.) With all my good intentions and plans to improve our quality of life I guess I don’t feel a big victory has been won because my husband seems disappointed and defeated about moving back to the states. Part of me just cannot enjoy all the things there are to do and see here while he remains somewhat sullen about the move.
When I am feeling down and unsure about what were actually doing back here I think about the most important person of all. I think about how this place will help grow into a freethinking, compassionate, intelligent, adventurous girl and young woman; someone who is full of ideas and will not be limited in any way when she wants to fulfill them. I think about America, I think about how our family came here with nothing but through hard work and opportunity, we have made wonderful lives for ourselves. This is what I want for her as well.
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