To Marry or not to Marry
During the past two years in Torino, I have met many couples both Italian and mixed. The majority of the couples happen to be American women married to Italian men but I have also made the acquaintance of many Italian couples married and not married. Many Italian men and women live at home until they are 30+ years old and only move out when they have found someone, usually a girlfriend or boyfriend to move in and share expenses with. Nothing is wrong with this scenario in my mind as many of my friends in the States also live with their boyfriends or girlfriends. I have lived with a boyfriend or two also and even thought it was a good way to get to know someone before deciding whether we were compatible for the long haul.
In Italy, many couples who live together buy houses together, have children together whilst considering and calling themselves husband and wife. What makes a man a husband and what makes a woman a wife? Do unmarried couples deserve the same rights as married ones? If no, why not? If yes, then what would legally separate married and unmarried couples?
In many U.S. states after a couple has lived together "for a while" they are considered to common law husband and wife. Maybe Italy also operates under "common law" marriages as well.
I personally have wanted a child for many years but would never allow myself to get pregnant without being married. Maybe it’s because when I was a teenager my dad told me if I did, I would no longer be his daughter if I did. Maybe it's because if I did eventually have a child with a man, I wanted a bit more insurance that he would not walk out on me and our family without thinking twice about it. Maybe it’s because I have always wanted to be married. Am I saying a married man will think twice before leaving his family and a man who is not married won't? No, absolutely not! However, in my mind all the trouble it takes to get married, divorced and dealing with child custody makes ME think twice before I think about telling my husband, "I'm outta here." I would hope that he would do the same as well. I think that being married helps me to feel more mentally and spiritually committed to my husband. Your thoughts…
All contents copyright 2004-2007.
All rights reserved.