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Gia-Gina Across the Pond

So I've decided to follow my husband to his native Italy. Follow our adventures as we eat, drink, travel, adapt to and explore this remarkable country. Part food blog, part photo blog but mostly my rants and raves. After our two years in Italy, we relocated across the Atlantic "pond" and are back in the States.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Cold Blooded

When I was a child, my mom would often tell me I had a cold heart. My hands and feet were often cold, even on tropical Guam. She has always been superstitious; in the attempt to cure me of my “cold heart” I was given many chicken hearts to eat. Whenever we killed a chicken, she cooked it up and told everyone the heart was reserved for me. I grew to like the taste but not the stigma of being a dead person walking on the face of the earth. My interests and hobbies as a budding scientist of sorts probably exacerbated her beliefs. I spent many hours catching grasshoppers, geckos, spiders, land crabs and other critters, dissecting them and trying to figure them out. I did go on the study biology in college and never told her of all the other things I had to cut up.

I mention this bit of history because her words have been akin to a mild curse. I’ve always been told I’m as tough as nails; I’m efficient to the point of robotic (esp. at work) and downright unfeeling. I admit I am not one to show much physical affection to friends and to family but I believe I am a very loyal friend, sister, daughter, cousin, aunt and wife. My parents never hugged my sisters or I very much, they never told us they loved us, but they were dedicated to us, they were hard workers and good parents. Should I assume they did not love us? I have never thought that. I never thought they did not have feelings. With all this background I guess I am attempting to prove to myself and to those around me that I can feel, I do feel and today I am sad.

A tragic thing happened to my family on August 11th. After a long battle with cancer the resilient, loyal, very intelligent, strong, husband of my mother passed away. He was buried with military honors in a small ceremony on Guam this past weekend. Now that the funeral is over, I wanted to take a few moments to remember him. (The last time I experienced the loss of someone I knew and loved, it took me a year to face it.) He was an honorable man, he showed my mom the world (from China to Scotland), he was patient with her, he showed her a few new tricks and adored her truly. I will miss our talks and his sweet tooth.


At 7:33 AM, Anonymous Island Girl said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like you had a very special relationship with your mom's husband. I hope your mom is doing fine. It took my mom awhile to get over my dad's passing four years ago.

At 3:56 PM, Blogger H. (aka. NC_State_Gal) said...

G - condolences on your loss. Thank you for sharing your feelings in your post.


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