On Being a Newlywed

Last week my husband, the man I love the most in the world after my dad, left on a business trip to Seattle for 6 days and nights. When he called after being away for one night; I complained. I did not appreciate being left alone in Turin with no car and no friends; basically I was lonely. I reminded him we were still newlyweds and this was an anomaly I did not want us to have to repeat too often. He then broke the news to me that this business trip was to repeat itself every 2 months from now on. While biting on my lip, I tried to hold back frustration and anger, I sighed as I tried quickly to remember my promise to support this man in his pursuit of a better life for our family. This promise is the only thing that grounds me and keeps me sane when I want to run away from him or bury my head in the sand.

One of my sisters, to remain nameless, supports her husband as he paints (as an artist) in his studio at home. She wakes up everyday and heads off to her day job. She is also an artist but paints in the middle of the night after dinner and after a nap. My best friend followed her then boyfriend, now husband, to the middle of nowhere as he completed his Masters’ degree in order to advance his career. He studied so intensely he often locked himself in his office for hours/days at a time. My other best friend works full-time and arranges childcare for her baby as her husband serves our military overseas, in Iraq. He has been gone for almost 8 months. My lovely mother supports her husband as they travel from Guam to Hawaii for cancer treatment, usually for months at a time.

I won’t go into the bit about the silver lining….that’s not the point. Lately I have been feeling homesick for Seattle, for my old independent life and wanting everyday to trade my current one for my old life. I have always known what the point is. I have to muster all the integrity and resilience within me as I remind myself, every hour of every day, its commitment. I better just stop thinking about myself as being a newlywed but a wife. The vows we uttered to each other in the taxi as we were certified husband and wife were not ours. They belonged to Reverend What’s His Face and the State of Nevada. This husband of mine is someone I have been waiting for all my life, he is my dream incarnate. The cantankerous, huffy, irritable, petulant, grumpy, grouchy, crabby, sulky moaning and groaning should end soon.