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Gia-Gina Across the Pond

So I've decided to follow my husband to his native Italy. Follow our adventures as we eat, drink, travel, adapt to and explore this remarkable country. Part food blog, part photo blog but mostly my rants and raves. After our two years in Italy, we relocated across the Atlantic "pond" and are back in the States.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Am I Lucky or Lazy?

I had an easy day today, like most says, since I’ve moved to Torino. The only two errands I had on my plate were: 1) run over to the self-service video store and find out why our video card was not working (turned out it somehow got de-magnetized) and 2) pick up a roll of film from the photo processing store. Both tasks were within walking distance and as I strolled home, mind you it’s 95 F outside, I began to think about my life and my daily routines.

Anyone that knows me well knows I am a people pleaser and a very anxious one at that. When I was living in Seattle and working full time, I struggled to balance work, family, friends, boyfriend, personal time, pets, garden and so much more. I think many people in today’s modern societies struggle with much of the same quandaries. Here in Torino, there is no garden, no family, not many friends, no work and so I have much more time for other pursuits. There’s time to practice new recipes, handwrite letters (I gather this is a rare thing nowadays, from all the positive feedback I’ve been receiving), write meaningful e-mails, read online news, blog, make beaded jewelry, clean the house, take walks, take photos, read, read, read and sleep.

I count my blessings most days and feel I am lucky to have so much free time but I have a hard time enjoying myself when I think about Deme at work. He is usually up at 7 or 8 a.m. and works until 6, 7 or 8 p.m.; rarely do we have dinner before 9 p.m. When I find an interesting museum, photography exhibit, shop, café or park, I think about my poor husband at work and have a hard time enjoying myself. Living with guilt is terribly draining. One way I alleviate the guilt is to work at home as many hours as I can, so when he gets home he can relax; is this the Asian woman coming out in me? When we were dating he used to shop on his own and have dinner ready when I came home, now the roles are completely reversed. He has not lifted a finger in the kitchen in over 5 months. I can’t say that I blame him, he's exhausted at the end of the day. I do miss his panna cotta and crème brulee though.

When I’m idle and stay home all day only leaving the house to take out the garbage, I feel lazy. The epitome of laziness is that I taught the dog to do his business on one of our balconies so I don’t have to take him out first thing in the morning. (That’s pretty bad isn’t it?) I lie around, read, eat salad and fruit (no heat involved) and wonder what I’m doing in Italy. I wonder if I’m ever going to have a fulfilling job ever again, whether I can market my photographs (we have yet to set up the darkroom), whether I should write a book or just run away back to Seattle or Guam.

*Please comment and share your thoughts*


At 3:16 PM, Blogger Gia said...

Oh come back for a little bit...at least until it cools off again...er not that it's THAT much cooler here...actually right now we are experiencing a monsoon depression....but that's beside the point. If hubby's gotta work, come on HOME (cause you know this is REALLY home) and get reacquainted (and food supplies).

At 3:27 AM, Blogger Eulinx said...

I understand you, really. I have the same feelings when I'm back in Germany and I can't help thinking that if I would be in Rome I would have a job and my friends and family around. The choice we made is amazing. The worst, the biggest, it's a sacrifice. But it's worth it.
Perhaps you should go home a little, heal some homesickness and then come back to Italy.
Good luck ; )
What kind of job did you have back in Seattle?

At 7:41 AM, Anonymous rowena said...

We're back (since Wednesday night) and once again I can totally relate with what you're experiencing. Absolutely, 100%, oh-man-I've-been-there-too!

Right now I am trying to get back into the swing of things and just had to pop by here for a visit. After things settle, will you be able to come by for a visit? My calender is looking horrendously like Martha Stewart's and I'm not bragging. Would really just love to chill.

Check back with ya after the w/e.

At 9:32 PM, Anonymous trench said...

I know that I get tired of stayin home during my summerbreak, but the minute I go back to work, I want to have my vacation back! haha. I guess its just a choice you have to make.

At 2:00 PM, Blogger Gia-Gina said...

Of course I want to come back for a while at least for a visit, there's the dog to worry about, our apartment, our car, and now that I am married, I have to think of my darling husband. Running away back to my parents does not sound like a very grown up and mature thing to do. Although 80% of the time I don't feel very grown up and mature.

I am glad you know how I feel and can symaphize with me. I forogt to say "good job" on the fried rice. Guam is 16-17 hours from Milan to Tokyo and another 3-4 from Tokyo. That's a lot of time and money for 1-2 weeks so I have to plan longer term I think.

Glad you're back, I missed you and your blog. I will visit ASAP, right after my aunt visits for 3 days from the 26th to 29th I think. I'll give you a call soon, can you pass me your number again via e-mail, I misplaced a whole notepad's worth of stuff last week.

I know about making the choice, it's just sometimes your choices are hard to swallow.


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